9.1.14
Well, last night around 9:00, Jimmy called to me from the bedroom. I went in to find him drenched in sweat and white as a ghost. His color was so pale that it seemed to have a green tint to it. He breathing was shallow and he was dizzy and nauseous. He said the pain in his leg and chest was excruciating. He couldn't even sit up. He said he went in to kiss Logan goodnight and when he stood up, his symptoms started all at once. I knew as soon as I saw him that we needed to call the hospital. Jimmy said no...my strong husband trying to pretend its going to be okay. Within a couple of minutes, he said "call 911". I was terrified and just knew this was it. I have never been so frightened in my life. I was so scared I forgot how to dial "911". My fingers just froze. I finally snapped out of it and called for an ambulance. It seemed like it took them forever to get here but I'm sure it was only minutes.
In the meantime, I ran to tell my neighbor to see if she could stay home with Logan, so I could go to the hospital with Jimmy. I called my in-laws to let them know what was happening. I put the dog outside per instructions from the 911 dispatcher. I put clothes on (since I was already dressed for bed) and all the while continued to check on Jimmy to make sure he was still breathing. And then the panic set in.
The ambulance finally came and because Jimmy could not sit or stand, they literally had to drag him through the house and down the stairs on a stretcher. Finally, the ambulance took off with lights and sirens blaring while I attempted to keep up with it without breaking any traffic laws. Of course, everyone on the road insisted on driving slow in the passing lane...ugh.
I finally got to the hospital and went to Jimmy's room in emergency. He looked really, really bad. He was still very pale and his oxygen level was about 3/4 of what it should have been. Jimmy got poked and prodded, had blood drawn and they took a chest x-ray. The x-ray came out clear but they also wanted to do a CT scan to make sure. They gave him more pain medicine to try to get that under control.. I ended up staying at the hospital until almost 2 a.m. when he was admitted to the hospital and brought to a regular room.
9.2.14
My first thought this morning was Logan. He literally slept through everything that went on last night...the ambulance people, the police officers, my neighbors and my mother-in-law. He never even moved...thank goodness. Today was his first day of school and he was so excited to go back. And, I didn't want him to worry about Jimmy. The morning went by and Logan just assumed Jimmy went to work, so I never mentioned anything to him. He was so happy and excited that I didn't want to ruin his day. Please don't judge...I felt like it was the right thing to do.
The morning was crazy...I had to get Logan off to school...talk to numerous doctors, including the surgeon and the radiologist... not to mention family and friends. I felt like I was putting out fires with bare feet all morning long.
When I talked to Jimmy, he said he had gotten some rest but that he still had a lot of pain in his leg and that it was hard to breathe. He said they had put him on oxygen overnight too. By the time I got to the hospital, he had already had his CT scan of his chest. The doctor came in and told us there were blood clots in his lungs and that is what was causing him to have shortness of breath and pain in his chest. He said they would start him on a blood thinner to help dissolve the clots.
The radiation team called too. They said they are ready to start Jimmy's radiation on the tumor tomorrow. I really don't think that's going to happen. As much as radiation needs to start, I don't think Jimmy is strong enough to have it done. I will be very surprised if the doctors say its okay. Right now, they just want him immobile and to rest.
I stayed with Jimmy all day until I had to go get Logan off the school bus. I was dreading having to tell him what happened and that Jimmy was in the hospital. When he got home, he was still excited from the day and he said he had a great first day of school. I then told him what had happened the night before and that Jimmy was in the hospital. I saw that he instantly got tears in his eyes and he walked away asking why I kept it from him. He got mad at me because he thought I was trying to keep it from him. We have always been honest with Logan about Jimmy's cancer so I do understand why he felt this way. We continued to talk some more and he seemed to understand why I did what I did. He wanted to go immediately to the hospital to see his Dad so that's exactly what we did.
When we got there, Jimmy told me they had done an ultrasound of his leg where the tumor is located and found a very large blood clot in his femoral artery. This is the main artery going down his leg and the tumor also happens to be attached to this artery. Now we knew that this was the reason for the pain, numbness and hypersensitivity he had been having in his leg the past few days. The hypersensitivity had gotten so bad that if you just touched his leg, he said it felt like you were dragging your nails across it.
Well, we at least know what we are dealing with right now and I am relieved that Logan felt reassured when he went to visit Jimmy at the hospital today. He told me how much he loved me on the way home and that he just wanted all of this to be over...me too.
Right now, I am asking for your prayers for my family once again. I am praying that the pain medicine will continue to help keep the pain at a comfortable level, so Jimmy can get some rest tonight and that the blood thinners will work to help dissolve the blood clots. I pray for the strength to take care of both Jimmy and Logan while we cross yet another hurdle. Please God, I pray that it is not time for you to take my husband. Not only do I need him but Logan needs him more than anyone.
In ending this post, I say thank you in advance once again for your prayers and support. xo
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