Cancer Pain is Hell

9.3.14
The good news is that Jimmy's chest pains have subsided...so the assumption is that the blood thinner is working on the clots in his lungs and his femoral artery.

He did have a fever last night as well as night sweats so that is still a little concerning but not altogether unexpected.

As for the pain, can you say...O.M.G?!   The pain has been excruciating for Jimmy and he is having a tough time of it.  The pain at the tumor site is a constant pain but he has also been getting these sharp, burning pains that go from 0 to 60 in the snap of a finger where it feels like his knee cap is going to explode.  I have never seen anyone is so much pain while taking so much pain medication.  Nothing is working...and I mean NOTHING.  I talked to the nurses and doctors and tonight the doctor decided to stack one of the stronger pain medications to give it a little umph, along with an anxiety med and IV tylenol so he could get some rest.

9.4.14
Thankfully, the med stacking last night seemed to work enough to let Jimmy rest a little but he can't continue to take the medication that way.  It is just drugging him up and making him loopy but not really getting to the root of the pain.  He is taking 3 different pain medications, something for anxiety, a blood thinner, a nerve pain medication and an antacid because a couple of the meds can cause stomach problems.  It sucks to have to take more medication because of the side effects of the original medication.

The pain seems to be getting worse instead of better and the tumor site appears to be getting bigger and bigger every day.  Please God help Jimmy!  The medication is not working and something needs to be done now.  I can't bear seeing him like this.  He is literally writhing in pain and cannot get out of bed without help.  He is having to sit to take a shower and brush his teeth because he cannot stand because it hurts too much to stand.  Jimmy is such a strong force in my life and to see him like this makes my heart very sad.  He is my rock...its not supposed to be the other way around.

I have also been talking to the radiation oncologist on a daily basis, since Jimmy was supposed to start his radiation yesterday.  Because of his pain level and the blood clots, they wanted him to wait.  It is a catch-22 right now because radiation is the one thing he needs because it would be the thing that would help to alleviate his pain but because of the pain, they don't want to start it.  In my conversation this morning with the radiation people, they said they could fit him in if he felt up to it.  He still had to do the dry run for radiation but they said they could do that as well as his first dose of radiation.  THANK GOODNESS!  Finally, some good news...radiation has started!!!

Jimmy decided to go ahead with the treatment despite the pain.  The nurse gave him in medications so that he would get optimum relief while getting is radiation.  He has to lay flat on a hard table and that is not something he can do easily given where the tumor is located, even without the pain he has been having.

Later in the day, the chief oncologist came in to visit to discuss options to manage Jimmy's pain.  It seems that the pain is stemming from the tumor pressing on nerves.  That is causing the constant pain and the intermittent sharp, burning pain.  He and the internal medicine doctor decided to give a steroid a try to see if it would take the pressure off of the nerves.  They would continue the other pain meds as well.  They also said that once they were able to get the pain under control, he could go home.

Well, within a couple of hours after Jimmy took the steroid, the pain began to subside.  By dinnertime, he was feeling so much better.  I can't believe it...this is working!  Something is finally working!  Thank you Jesus!

By the time, Logan and I left to go home, Jimmy looked more relaxed and relieved that the medication had finally started working.  Fingers were crossed that he would continue to feel better throughout the night.

9.5.14
When I called Jimmy this morning, he said he had a good night and was able to finally get some restful sleep.  Woo hoo!!!

He had his second radiation treatment and then the doctor said he could go home today, since he was feeling so much better...and that makes all of us very happy.

This has been a very stressful week.  Jimmy was literally at death's door.  If he had not gotten to the hospital when he did, he most likely would have died due to lack of oxygen.  That thought terrifies me.  I am so exhausted from being so stressed out all week...I'm even feeling a little numb too.  This has been our life for almost 2 years.  It feels like this cancer is taking bits and pieces of our lives slowly and painfully.  This cancer is unrelenting and it is so draining on all of us.

I HATE CANCER.

I know how hard it is for Jimmy and I to deal with, so I can only imagine how hard it is for Logan.  He came home yesterday from school with this questionnaire to fill out about his likes and dislikes regarding school, his friends, his free time, etc.  There was also a question "What makes you sad?"  Logan's response was "When my Daddy's in the hospital."  It brought tears to my eyes when I read that.  I wish so much to be able to shelter him from all of this but I know I can't.  I will say again what Logan said the other day on the way home from the hospital..."I just want this to be over."

Please continue to pray for Jimmy's healing and for Logan and I so that we have strength to get through this horrendous battle once again.  

xoxo