8.29.14
Well, we got the biopsy results. As expected, it is another sarcoma and it is the size of a baseball. WTF
We were not surprised, but really?? Again??
Jimmy's leg is so swollen all the way from his hip to his knee. He is also having numbness in his left leg because of it. It is so hard to see him in such pain. I feel helpless.
I HATE THIS!!!
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Biopsy went well...I even got to watch!
8.27.14
Jimmy's core biopsy is scheduled for this afternoon. He is still in a lot of pain, so I drove him to the hospital to have it done even though he wanted to do it himself. We got there and checked in and only waited a little while before they called us back. Yes, I mean us! They let me stay in the room when they did the biopsy. I couldn't believe it. I was glad though because it was really painful for Jimmy and I was able to hold his hand during the procedure. I did have to keep reminding him that he was breaking my hand...haha. The procedure was very interesting to watch though. I was sitting right next to the doctor and I was able to watch the ultrasound to look at the tumor and see how he guided the needles for both the anesthesia (local only) and the core sample. Jimmy was pretty numbed up at the biopsy site (and would be for a couple of hours) but they gave him an ice pack for the ride home to help with his pain.
Now we just wait for the results. At this point, it is merely a formality but once the results are in, Jimmy can start radiation. The sooner it gets started, the quicker his pain will start to subside. The radiation is expected to kill the tumor and the radiologist said the pain should go away within a few weeks after the start of radiation.
That day can't come soon enough for Jimmy, I know.
8.28.14
The night sweats are back again with a vengeance which means I'm back to washing pillows and sheets daily. This makes it hard for both Jimmy and I to get good sleep at night. He tosses and turns and I know he is uncomfortable, hot and in pain. I wake up throughout the night just to see how he is doing. It makes for a very tiring next day for both of us.
Jimmy is sore and swollen, more so than usual because of the biopsy. He just needs to lay down and rest because when he gets up that is when the pain starts. The mornings are getting worse for him. Right now, he feels the need to work (we have a construction company) even though he doesn't feel like it. I get that he wants to work while he can but I hate to see him in pain while he's doing it.
Today has been a better day emotionally for me. I think I was just extremely anxious about the biopsy the last few days. Several people have reached out to me the last couple of days and I really appreciate it. Just being able to talk to people going through the same thing helps a lot.
I also want to thank my friends who have helped me with Logan this past week while Jimmy and I went to see the different doctors. You have all been so kind and supportive. I really hate asking for help from anyone because I always think I can do it myself. I am learning that I can't do it all without help. This past two years has shown me that. I really means so much to know I have friends I can depend on.
Also, I have found that people don't know what to say when they find out that Jimmy's cancer is back. Some people actually say "I don't know what to say". That's okay. When I have run into friends and acquaintances recently, some have had that awkward silence when they first see me because they don't know what to say or are afraid to say something to me about Jimmy's cancer. Its okay to bring it up. Its okay to say something. I really don't mind. The more people that know and are thinking about it means that there is more of an opportunity to have people pray for complete healing for Jimmy.
I will update when we get the biopsy results and when radiation starts.
Thank you again to all of you for all of the prayers and support we have received from around the world.
Jimmy's core biopsy is scheduled for this afternoon. He is still in a lot of pain, so I drove him to the hospital to have it done even though he wanted to do it himself. We got there and checked in and only waited a little while before they called us back. Yes, I mean us! They let me stay in the room when they did the biopsy. I couldn't believe it. I was glad though because it was really painful for Jimmy and I was able to hold his hand during the procedure. I did have to keep reminding him that he was breaking my hand...haha. The procedure was very interesting to watch though. I was sitting right next to the doctor and I was able to watch the ultrasound to look at the tumor and see how he guided the needles for both the anesthesia (local only) and the core sample. Jimmy was pretty numbed up at the biopsy site (and would be for a couple of hours) but they gave him an ice pack for the ride home to help with his pain.
Now we just wait for the results. At this point, it is merely a formality but once the results are in, Jimmy can start radiation. The sooner it gets started, the quicker his pain will start to subside. The radiation is expected to kill the tumor and the radiologist said the pain should go away within a few weeks after the start of radiation.
That day can't come soon enough for Jimmy, I know.
8.28.14
The night sweats are back again with a vengeance which means I'm back to washing pillows and sheets daily. This makes it hard for both Jimmy and I to get good sleep at night. He tosses and turns and I know he is uncomfortable, hot and in pain. I wake up throughout the night just to see how he is doing. It makes for a very tiring next day for both of us.
Jimmy is sore and swollen, more so than usual because of the biopsy. He just needs to lay down and rest because when he gets up that is when the pain starts. The mornings are getting worse for him. Right now, he feels the need to work (we have a construction company) even though he doesn't feel like it. I get that he wants to work while he can but I hate to see him in pain while he's doing it.
Today has been a better day emotionally for me. I think I was just extremely anxious about the biopsy the last few days. Several people have reached out to me the last couple of days and I really appreciate it. Just being able to talk to people going through the same thing helps a lot.
I also want to thank my friends who have helped me with Logan this past week while Jimmy and I went to see the different doctors. You have all been so kind and supportive. I really hate asking for help from anyone because I always think I can do it myself. I am learning that I can't do it all without help. This past two years has shown me that. I really means so much to know I have friends I can depend on.
Also, I have found that people don't know what to say when they find out that Jimmy's cancer is back. Some people actually say "I don't know what to say". That's okay. When I have run into friends and acquaintances recently, some have had that awkward silence when they first see me because they don't know what to say or are afraid to say something to me about Jimmy's cancer. Its okay to bring it up. Its okay to say something. I really don't mind. The more people that know and are thinking about it means that there is more of an opportunity to have people pray for complete healing for Jimmy.
I will update when we get the biopsy results and when radiation starts.
Thank you again to all of you for all of the prayers and support we have received from around the world.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Third time is NOT a charm...
8.25.14
We met with the surgeon to find out how she wanted to move ahead with Jimmy's treatment. I was extremely nervous before the visit. I think I just wanted to get the ball rolling. This has been extremely hard to take...again...and so soon.
The surgeon went over the scans with us and reiterated what the oncologist told us about the tumor. It is the size of a baseball and it is being very aggressive. She wants Jimmy to have a biopsy, so they will know exactly what they are dealing with (even though she's sure already) and then wants him to have 25 rounds of radiation with surgery after that. With that time frame, surgery should be about the end of October.
8.26.14
Last night was not a good night. Jimmy tossed and turned all night. He said the night sweats are starting again...tumor fever. The pain the last couple of days has truly been unbearable for him. He is having trouble lifting his leg and he is limping pretty bad. He is taking a lot of pain medication too. I wish there was something I could do to make it better for him.
Jimmy did go meet with the radiologist today. While he was there, they went ahead and did the mapping and tattooed the area for treatment. The radiologist told him that this time around he may have some more side effects than he did the last time. Given the area where this tumor is located, the radiologist said his bladder and lymph nodes with most likely be in the range of treatment. This is not going to be pleasant for Jimmy.
The last couple of days have been very emotional for me too. I feel really depressed and sad. I feel like crying at just about everything. I am so scared that I am going to lose my husband to this disease. I do trust the surgeon and the oncologist and I pray that we will get through this crisis like we have gotten through the other two. I am also concerned for Logan. I am very aware of the fact that this bothers him too. He told me the other day that he is worried about his Dad but that he's okay. I hope so. It hasn't been easy for him either and its so hard to try and shelter him from the things that are going on.
Tomorrow is the biopsy. It should be routine and we should have the results pretty quickly. I will post an update after we get the biopsy results.
I do want to acknowledge all of the people who have reached out to me. It means a lot and I welcome the support. My blog has now reached people in 54 countries and I continue to hope that it is as encouraging for you as it is cathartic for me.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Life sucks right now...Cancer is back yet again...
I took a break after the last surgery in April just to catch my breath and regroup. Here is a recap of how things have been going until now...
4.17.14
6.16.14
Jimmy had his routine scans...a CT scan of his chest and an MRI of his leg, where the original tumor was located. ALL scans were clear! We headed into summer happy and healthy.
7.30.14
Jimmy stared feeling pain in his upper left leg. He had painted the bathroom and thought maybe he had pulled a groin muscle while doing that. I was concerned because it was the same leg as before. He went to his primary care doctor and he said he thought it was a groin pull and gave him some ibuprofen. The pain kept getting worse. Finally, I called his oncologist and wanted to know if Jimmy could get his scans sooner than the normal 3 month period. They agreed that he could and scheduled the scans.
8.15.14
Jimmy had the CT scan of his chest and the results found some scar tissue but nothing else that the doctors were concerned with right now.
8.18.14
Jimmy had the MRI of the area where he was having pain...his groin and pelvic area. We got copies of the scans and took a look ourselves. We could see something big but we didn't know what it was...could be a groin pull or a tumor. The doctor called us on Tuesday, 8.19 to let us know that there was definitely a malignant mass about the size of a baseball. Our worse fears confirmed yet again. The doctor said he would confer with the surgeon so we could get a game plan for treatment. We know there will be radiation and surgery but we won't know how and when until we talk to the surgeon.
8.22.14
It has taken a few days but we got a call from the surgeon this morning and Jimmy has an appointment on Monday to plan for surgery. I will keep you posted.
In the meantime, I am asking all of you prayer warriors around the world to have at it again...we can use all of the prayers we can get. This is very depressing and stressful for our family. We have been lulled into a false sense of security by having clear scans every other time they have been done. Now, the two year time frame to be cancer free starts all over again.
I am worried about Jimmy. He has had a wide range of emotions yet again this time around. He's been in denial...been mad...been sad and even anxious and sick to his stomach. This is really taking its toll on him. I am worried about Logan. He is still a little boy and I can't imagine how he is going to deal with this again. He says he worried but that he's okay. I hope so. As for me, I am both mad and sad at the same time. I am worried for my family. Not only are we dealing with cancer once again, we are still dealing with bills from the first go-round, when insurance did not cover anything, to the tune of $490,000 that we are responsible for on our own. I know people say that God only gives them as much as they can handle. Well, God, I really need you to slow down with the bad news. It truly is getting to be too much.
Having said that, I welcome your thoughts and prayers once again. Please feel free to comment because hearing from you makes it just a little easier to deal with all of this. The Kulicks Kicking Cancer Facebook page is available for comments as well. Thanks for all of you who have already reached out...your support means so much. A donation page has also been set up at https://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/kulicks-kicking-cancer/42802 to help with the astronomical medical bills. If you would like to send an email, you can send it to kulickskickingcancer@gmail.com.
4.17.14
I talked to Jimmy this morning and he said that his fever was gone and that he was feeling better. The doctor even said he might come home tomorrow since he was doing so well. That is terrific news! I am taking Logan out of school today so he can spend the day with Jimmy. He only had a half day anyway and he teacher didn't mind so...off to the hospital we go...Jimmy progressed nicely and he went home the next day. Recovery was relatively easy. He had pain in his chest and had a tough time learning to take deep breaths. It took a couple of weeks before he started feeling like his old self again.
6.16.14
Jimmy had his routine scans...a CT scan of his chest and an MRI of his leg, where the original tumor was located. ALL scans were clear! We headed into summer happy and healthy.
7.30.14
Jimmy stared feeling pain in his upper left leg. He had painted the bathroom and thought maybe he had pulled a groin muscle while doing that. I was concerned because it was the same leg as before. He went to his primary care doctor and he said he thought it was a groin pull and gave him some ibuprofen. The pain kept getting worse. Finally, I called his oncologist and wanted to know if Jimmy could get his scans sooner than the normal 3 month period. They agreed that he could and scheduled the scans.
8.15.14
Jimmy had the CT scan of his chest and the results found some scar tissue but nothing else that the doctors were concerned with right now.
8.18.14
Jimmy had the MRI of the area where he was having pain...his groin and pelvic area. We got copies of the scans and took a look ourselves. We could see something big but we didn't know what it was...could be a groin pull or a tumor. The doctor called us on Tuesday, 8.19 to let us know that there was definitely a malignant mass about the size of a baseball. Our worse fears confirmed yet again. The doctor said he would confer with the surgeon so we could get a game plan for treatment. We know there will be radiation and surgery but we won't know how and when until we talk to the surgeon.
8.22.14
It has taken a few days but we got a call from the surgeon this morning and Jimmy has an appointment on Monday to plan for surgery. I will keep you posted.
In the meantime, I am asking all of you prayer warriors around the world to have at it again...we can use all of the prayers we can get. This is very depressing and stressful for our family. We have been lulled into a false sense of security by having clear scans every other time they have been done. Now, the two year time frame to be cancer free starts all over again.
I am worried about Jimmy. He has had a wide range of emotions yet again this time around. He's been in denial...been mad...been sad and even anxious and sick to his stomach. This is really taking its toll on him. I am worried about Logan. He is still a little boy and I can't imagine how he is going to deal with this again. He says he worried but that he's okay. I hope so. As for me, I am both mad and sad at the same time. I am worried for my family. Not only are we dealing with cancer once again, we are still dealing with bills from the first go-round, when insurance did not cover anything, to the tune of $490,000 that we are responsible for on our own. I know people say that God only gives them as much as they can handle. Well, God, I really need you to slow down with the bad news. It truly is getting to be too much.
Having said that, I welcome your thoughts and prayers once again. Please feel free to comment because hearing from you makes it just a little easier to deal with all of this. The Kulicks Kicking Cancer Facebook page is available for comments as well. Thanks for all of you who have already reached out...your support means so much. A donation page has also been set up at https://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/kulicks-kicking-cancer/42802 to help with the astronomical medical bills. If you would like to send an email, you can send it to kulickskickingcancer@gmail.com.
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