I have not blogged in a while. It is often times cathartic but in the last few weeks have been rather depressing for me and I just didn't feel like writing. I was very anxious about the halfway scans and wondering whether the tumor has spread and whether the chemo was working. As hard as this process is for Jimmy, I'm finding that it is very hard for me too and I feel guilty when I try to do anything for myself. I am constantly tired and stressed but I feel like I need to concentrate on Jimmy and Logan, making sure that they are okay.
Jimmy was sick during the end of Round 3 and dealt with a botched PICC line insertion and pain it brought as the days went on. As usual, recovery took a little longer than the last time and blood counts were lower than the last treatment. By the end of the third week after Round 3, Jimmy was back to feeling good and got out of the house more and more.
Halfway through the chemo treatments (after the 3rd treatment), CT scan and an MRI was done to determine how/if the chemo was doing its job. We got the results on April 15, just before Round 4 started. The good news is that the cancer has not spread...what a relief. Spreading would mean to the lungs and I don't even want to go there. The bad news is that the tumor has not gotten any smaller. The doctor said that this can sometimes happen but at least the tumor has not gotten any bigger. We don't know if the chemo is killing the tumor (we won't know until surgery) but we are optimistic that that is what it is doing.
Then, Round 4 began. PICC line went on pretty much without incident...thank goodness. Even before the chemo drugs started on day one, the pre-meds made Jimmy extremely sick. After they got that under control, the rest of the week went pretty smooth. He was eating well the first couple of days and even did some laps around the oncology unit on the first day. The hydration they give him constantly makes him very bloated and uncomfortable and by the last day in the hospital, he is wiped out and not very hungry.
As for Logan, the weeks when Jimmy is in the hospital are especially hard on him. He was really missing his Daddy this week and I let him play hooky on Thursday to spend the day at the hospital with Jimmy (with his teacher's permission of course). Jimmy didn't know he was coming and it was a nice surprise for him. It was good for Logan too to just hang out with Daddy for the day.
On Friday, April 19, 2013, once we got home from the hospital, Jimmy is tired and just wants to lay down. He is feeling nauseous and he says he extremely emotional and feeling like his body wants to explode. I can't imagine a feeling like that. This morning, April 20, 2013 he has once again had vicious nightmares and did not have restful sleep. He is nauseous again but I am hoping he starts to feel better.
Thank you again to friends who provided food and help with Logan this week.
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