Chemo is almost over...

May 26, 2013
Jimmy has had a rough couple of weeks.  He has been very tired and weak, has had mouth and throat sores and is very anxious to have chemotherapy over.

The first week after chemo is always the hardest.  As usual, his hemoglobin was zero, which means he was severely anemic.  His white blood count was .2 (normal is about 12), which means he had no immune system.  I'm always afraid that he is going to get sick and end up in the hospital.  Thankfully, that hasn't happened.  And, thank goodness for antibacterial lotion.  Jimmy practically bathes in it these days.

I hate when he comes home and he tries to start doing things too soon.  You know its bad when he walks the dog and comes in winded.  Even today, two weeks after chemo, he got dizzy when he stood up too fast. He still has moments of chemo-brain where things don't make sense or he can't find the right words to say.

I HATE THIS.

Jimmy has one more round of chemo to go.  I cannot wait until it is over for him.  He hates the chemo and is not looking forward to it.  I just tell him that its the last one and that he can do it...he has to do it.    I see what it does to him and it is so hard to watch the deterioration of the Jimmy I know.  He goes in feeling pretty good and leaves the hospital at the end of the week a very different person.  The chemo strips away so much and each time it seems to take a little more of Jimmy.  It has taken his hair, his strength and even changed the color of his skin.  It has taken Jimmy away from Logan for about 2 weeks out of the month...the first week in the hospital and the second while he is home and recovering.  It has made my husband and best friend a very different man than the one I knew before all of this.

After this round, there will be more scans to see what's going on with the tumor.  Hopefully, the tumor is necrotic and has gotten a little smaller.  We are not so much worried with the size of it at this point though.  We just want the chemo to kill all of the cancer cells and let radiation shrink the tumor.  The smaller it is, the better it will be for surgery.

This week has also been very stressful.  Jimmy lost a friend this week...someone he had known his entire life and considered a second sister.  RIP Alissa...may you be at peace.  Alissa was helping with our fundraiser.  She had started to spread the word and was going to help at the event.  We had been speaking with her every day, several times a day and then it just stopped.  A full day after our last communication we heard that she had passed away.  We still don't know what happened and whether it was accidental or not.  It is very sad, especially because she left behind a young daughter.  Jimmy has been very effected by her death and I worry that the added stress is not good for him.

Logan is doing well and coping with Jimmy's illness much better these days.  Since I usually take him to see Jimmy at least once while he is in the hospital, I think it makes him feel less stressed just getting to spend a little time with his Dad during his hospital week.  As for me, I seem to be in a constant state of stress and depression. I pray for the day that Jimmy is healthy and we can put this behind us.  I dread getting the mail with yet another bill from a doctor, hospital, radiologist, etc.  I just want my husband back, whole and healthy.

Please pray for our family as we continue to battle Jimmy's cancer...this horrific disease that has taken over our lives.  We really appreciate all of the support we have gotten from family, friends and even strangers.  This has truly been a time where we have found out who our real friends are...and those we thought were friends are really not friends at all.

Thank you to those of you who  have allowed us to come into your lives and share our blog with you.  We have now been seen by people in 14 countries around the world.  I hope this blog is helpful in some small way to those who read it.  We would love to hear from some of our blog friends from around the world.

Tomorrow is Memorial Day.  Thank you to those who have served our country and have paid the ultimate price, so we may continue to have our freedom.  Jimmy's brother, John, was killed in Iraq in 2005.  We love you John and miss you very much.