It has been a week of emotion and realization that this is really happening. The running theme is pain, some nausea, fatigue and a slight fever. Some days are definitely better than others. The beginning of the week Jimmy was very tired and in a lot of pain and he even had a mouth sore. He has stayed in bed most of time and his mood has been optimistic. I am grateful that he hasn't been throwing up like we expected. Thank you God for small favors.
On Thursday, February 21, 2013, he had a follow-up visit with the oncologist to check his progress and blood counts. He has lost 30 pounds and as expected, his white blood cell count is non-existent and he is very susceptible to anything and everything at this point. If he were to get sick right now, it could be very dangerous for him. I don't like that we have had to tell people that they can't come visit, but I know they understand. By the middle of next week, his counts should be back to normal. The nurse also said that Jimmy would definitely lose his hair. I really don't want this to happen but I'm not holding out much hope since it already appears to be thinning. I can't believe that my "Samson" won't have hair. That's his trademark. Well then, he will just have to rock the Kojak look.
Friday, February 22, brought a day of Jimmy feeling really good. He even wanted to get out of the house and do a little driving around. However, he has now paid the price for all of that running around. Today, Saturday, February 23, 2013 is not a good. day. He is depressed and in pain, both in his leg and his back. He is having some other issues as well and the chemo has caused any little nick or abrasion he gets to become a raging mess. The cold, rainy weather isn't helping his mood either I imagine.
This morning was a morning of a lot of negative conversation. It is very hard for me to hear when Jimmy starts to become negative. Where is my strong, positive husband? I wish that this wasn't happening but its too late for what ifs. I hate cancer. It is controlling our lives right now and there is nothing we can do about it. We WILL beat this and I will do everything I can to make sure that happens.
As for Logan and I, I continue to be exhausted but want to continue to be the rock that Jimmy and Logan need through this process. Logan is having a tough time controlling his emotions and has been acting out. It truly hurts my heart that I can't shield him from all of this because I know he doesn't really understand.
I do want to continue to thank everyone for their prayers and support, including those who have brought us food and offered to help and have helped with Logan. Thank you also to my friends (you know who you are) who have let me vent when I needed to do so.
No comments:
Post a Comment